Parents want to see the child with appreciation
Child voice: don’t take me and others than
“I don’t know what I’m thinking, and I don’t know what I want? It seems as long as I can remember, my mom and dad would continue to take others and I, especially in every meeting after the parents. If they think other people are good, let them be their son. Besides I’m not trying to learn well, I also work hard, but why I can not see the results they can not see it? I don’t even want to stay at home anymore. I hate anyone. Why don’t they know me……” This is about a high school sophomore students in the boats and a chat.
The author from the youth psychological counseling center, at present, the mental health problems of young people is increasing, which is the majority of high school students, accounting for 70% of the total, the main symptoms of anxiety, depression, neurasthenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.. Analysts believe that caused the main reason for the increase in adolescents with mental health problems at present is study pressure, bad social influence big psychological intervene less.
Parents worried: others do, how can you not?
The mother of a son of the little learning is particularly excited, “our parents for what? Want to eat reluctant to wear, but he would not give us. You see, my old sister were children, a year younger than himself, learning had never let parents worry! I cross the vertical look, our children are not worse than others ah? Others do, why not?”
The author in the interview learned that except in the learning of children strict requirements, the parents of the life boats really count is meticulous the, and the difficulties of never wronged son. However, the boats and the parents but also how do not close up.
Dumbo’s father to the author said: “sometimes I know the child is too much pressure, but no way, we can’t take care of him for a lifetime do not you say? Now he didn’t work hard to find a good job, so we kick him?” And then he took a piece of paper from the drawer, “this is my pick up the room from the ground, you have a look, have written what?” I see, this page is like a diary of the off-line fall down, it said”…… There is one thing, I do not understand, I in the end is progress or regress. This month, I was in class 12, grade 68, into the top 100, in general, I should be progress. Because of the end of school, I am in the class of the place is 25, the grade is 152. However, this afternoon, I went back home, and did not get my father’s encouragement, but was he severely trained a meal: ‘I’m like you so big, want to go to school is not conditional! Can we create such a good condition for you, you are so to return us? You see x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x You really let us down… Come again, come again…… Also, I now have no contact with anyone, I and many people have finished (including * *), and did not learn bad people. I think this is probably the reason why I progress……”
“In fact, to see these words, I feel bad, but we can not think of what better education method. I didn’t take the great men to come with him, because it was too unrealistic. I just and his side of the people, and we are the same as the ordinary people to compare, we are a healthy person, if he can not, then I think that is not enough for his efforts!” Dumbo father says to the author.
Expert advice: learn to appreciate the child
Experts pointed out that in the influence of child mental health factors, family environment and parental education is the most important. Parents always give their children a good example, the family education way is quite common, but this is a kind of blind mentality. This education method, easy to make the child a sense of frustration, is not conducive to the cultivation of children’s self-confidence. First, for example the child parents from the heart is not convinced, would not accept. Second, will make the child will never be able to feel, because the new model will appear in front of. If you have unrealistic expectations of children, parents can not reach the requirements, parents will be the child of the negative, and then develop the child’s self denial. So, the child in the development of the difficulties will be in panic, retreat, the child’s psychological damage.
Experts also mention such a strange phenomenon. Dozens of Chinese and foreign children together for a test, the score after the test to take home to their parents to see the results of their parents, the results of the Chinese parents see the child’s score, 80% said they were not satisfied, and foreign parents have 80% expressed satisfaction. In fact, foreign children’s achievements are not as good as the Chinese children, this matter shows that China’s parents are accustomed to looking at the child with a critical perspective, look at others and the world. While foreign parents are used to appreciate the view of their own, children and the world. So, it is suggested that parents appreciate the vision to look at the child, to find the child’s strengths, sincere appreciation for him.
Children: as long as I can remember, my mom and dad will continue to get others and I than, especially in every time after after the parents, I is me, do not take me with others than.
Parents: we do parents want to eat reluctant to wear, but he would not give us good, others for him, why not?
Experts: parents are advised to look at the appreciation of children, to find the child’s strengths, sincere appreciation for him.