Here are four basic skills to listen to.
(1) passive listening (remain silent)
If more than half of the time you are talking, the child will find that he is difficult to tell you his troubles. In the high efficiency of consulting, silence is gold, of course, is the truth, because of the negative listening is a very strong non language information, but your face and attention needs the following message transfer to the children:
I accept your feelings.
I trust you, let you decide what you want to say to me.
You call the shots, because it’s your problem.
In fact, the way most of this passive listening was born in business, due diligence consultants talk with the case, more than half of the time will remain silent. Passive listening encourages children to share their feelings, and to explore deeper and more fundamental issues that are more troubling than previously mentioned. Of course, the only silence is not enough, the children talk to trouble is not just silence silent listening.
(2) in listening (expression attention reaction)
The stumbling block to communication is often the child’s feeling that his message is not accepted. Silence is exempt from these obstacles, but not necessarily for the children to show you are really focused on listening to. Therefore, using language or nonverbal cues you really listened in, can be helpful when doing in conversation pause. We call these cues to express our attention. Nodding, leaning forward, smiling, frowning and other physical movements if used properly, can let the child know that you heard his words. “Oh”, “ah”, “ah” suggestive of such a language, can be referred to as empathy response to sound, can let the child know that you are attentive, you have the interest to listen to, so he will continue to pour out his difficulties.
Sometimes, parents talk too much, the child will feel that there is no chance to tell their own troubles, it is better to listen to the child’s narrative. Parents should use a lot of this class to express their attention, to naturally express their interest and focus.
(3) general (to encourage and guide the children to speak.)
Children occasionally need extra encouragement to say how they feel and feel, especially when the talks are just beginning. So, conscientious parents often encourage children to talk to his opening, for example:
Do you want to talk about it?
I’m interested in what you think.
It sounds as though you have something to do with this.
Do you want to talk more about it?
Please note, these questions are open, let the children no limit on any aspect of a problem. Children can be free to select content is shared. Moreover, this kind of question is not for children earlier talk comment or criticism.
(4) active listening
Active listening is the listener from the conversation and emotion, to talk a way of listening is appropriate and timely feedback.
Active listening does not contain any individual to determine the exact message, only to reflect or feedback he heard the information, and actively said he heard the message to send the message, but also really understand the other side of the feelings. He used his own opinion to send the message to give back, which confirmed that he was listening. The following example is a response to a parent’s response to a typical message sent by a troubled child:
1) children: “I’m so stupid, I can’t do arithmetic. I can never do a good job in arithmetic.”
Parents: “you think you are not smart enough, so you will never know what you are going to do.”
Child: “yes ah.”
2) the child: “I don’t go to bed, the room is dark, there are a lot of ghost.”
Parents: “do you think the bedroom is afraid of ghosts, let you.”
Child: “it’s pretty good.”.”
3) children: “how do people do after death?”
Parents: “you’re thinking about the death of people, and they’re wondering where they’re going.”
Child: “well, you never see them again, aren’t you?””
4) the child: “I don’t want to participate in the birthday party tomorrow.”
Parents: “it sounds like you’re not happy with someone, right?”
Child: “I hate him. He’s not fair.”.”
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How to cultivate a girl’s good habits
Train girls to correctly evaluate their good habits, parents should let the children feel at any time, I am not stupid, I really do!
The harsh criticism has stopped the girl’s strength, she only has the shortcoming, where is also the confidence to get up? Where can I evaluate myself and know myself?
The girl who thinks he is a talented woman, she is likely to become a prodigy. On the contrary, if she thinks she is stupid, she really will be more and more stupid. Investigate its reason, is the psychological suggestion in play, the problem is to be afraid of, the more afraid of the more easily wrong, wrong to feel more stupid, which will form a vicious cycle, the growth of girls is very bad.
In real life, many parents do not pay attention to their own girls can not correctly evaluate their own details, they tend to think that is not important. But in fact, this is not correct for their own understanding of the girl can not play their own talent, the lack of confidence in the state of the state of death, the result of waste of their talents. They had to use half the time to have a double effect of learning, but it has been a setback to break the wings of flying, which is really a pity.
In fact, a lot of talented girls in life are in the criticism of their parents’ rude encounter, and many parents do not know the reason for the loss of her daughter. The harsh criticism stopped the girl’s strength, and she had only a weakness. In this regard, the experts put forward the following suggestions for parents:
Advice for parents: tell a girl, others see you look, you will see yourself round.
When the teacher gives you the girl brought a setback, you can put this sentence as a motto, hang on the girl’s wall, encourage her to correct evaluation of their own. This can bring the power to her learning, while preventing her because of the teacher’s criticism, then become.
Give your parents advice two: shout out your girl.
When a girl is afraid to make a little progress, you should praise her loudly. Your praise will make the girl continue to work hard, continue to achieve greater success, the praise of your greatest reward. They also have a positive and optimistic understanding and evaluation of their own.
Give parents advice three: you are not a genius, who is a genius.
List the characteristics of genius, once the girl’s behavior in line with a standard, take to her, tell her, she is a genius, strengthen her self-confidence. This approach has helped deaf children admitted to the University, the girl can also apply to your.
Give your parents advice four: “tell you a good news!”
Every day the girl comes home from school, the first sentence should be “tell you a good news”. This optimistic attitude, the girl is not in a good mood swept away, let the girl’s spirits. The good news is that no matter how very little optimism, parents can become the greatest comfort girl.
To the parents of the five: “daughter, I’m proud of you!”
Want to often say to the girl “I am proud of you”, the girl gets results, for her efforts and pride, the girl met setbacks, for her to bear the fight to continue to work hard and proud. The pride of parents is the girl’s greatest power.
Give parents the advice six: the future of the advantages for the girl’s applause.
When the girl set their own goals, parents should take the girl’s goal as a future advantage, every time the girl from the advantage of the step, parents should give her loud cheers. Even if your girl Nothing is right., as long as she is willing to work hard, you should cheer.
Create a warm family atmosphere, so that the girl with a sense of peace
Create a good family atmosphere, to cultivate children’s vital.
In the eyes of their parents, the girls like sand, although beautiful beautiful, but fragile tender. A minute ago also stand proudly, a seemingly unassailable to against all enemies, but the next minute, the tide will erosion cornerstone of self doubt, triggering the collapse. This needs the parents to help her daughter to establish a stable life foundation – a sense of peace, not to put her on the beach”. For girls, a warm family is safe, is stable, is her strength and all.
Renmin University of China Information Institute, Professor Luo Yan in my blog on my story:
Luo Yan a person with a daughter Luo small life, small like a flower beloved small bud, let mother pamper unceasingly, but the child appears on his father in the side can not understand. Little often asked: “why don’t you live with us?” Luo Yan is said ruefully: “he abandoned our mother.”
A, small and dad come in to play, came back to Luo Yan said: “Mom, Dad today and I sit bus time is too crowded the, his hand caught breaking!” Luo Yan no repercussions, about her ex husband. She had no favor, small see mother unsmiling, closed not mentioning the matter, even in later life, rarely in front of mom mention dad.
Small seemed adaptation alone and Luo Yan in the life together. She is very lovely also very happy, this let Luo Yan is very happy, said parents divorce, the biggest victims are children, okay my daughter no anything unusual. Until one day, Luo Yan inadvertently heard a small sentence, she was aware of her heart or a pimple don’t untie, although she did not say, but deep in the subconscious, the psychological background of her or thick or thin.
At that time, Luo Yan with little to go to see my tutor. My wife also retired at home, beloved little extra love to see, not as busy to come up with a lot of snacks for her. A little too soon found that in my grandparents’ house, nestled in her arms, “grandma” “grandmother” cried. Luo Yan down, so he and mentor to his study to talk about some academic problems.
Do not inadvertently, Luo Yan heard little childish voice from the living room came: “grandma, my father and mother divorced, my father a long time didn’t and we together, I was afraid, afraid of mother don’t want me, so I must behave obediently…” Luo Yan’s heart a tight family, incomplete or give the child form a psychological shadow. Luo Yan’s thought of chaos, teacher looked at her silently, without words.
After returning home, Luo Yan want and daughter talk about getting a divorce, but watching the young daughter, she opened her mouth and on the. Luo Yan is in the heart of a sigh, she reminds me of my childhood.
Luo strict 5 years time, father left mother and another love. At that time, mother, overwhelmed with grief, with a rope to Luo Yankun prepare together to jump off a building, but to see Luo Yan cried sadly, this just forget about it. No father in the growth process of side, let her not to the man to that she chose a irresponsible man married. Perhaps, because his father abandoned his mother, let me feel all the men will be discarded, so early in the texture of life to take part in the unfortunate elements, which led me to really go into the unfortunate.
Although Luo Yan is an excellent university teachers, but on this issue, she didn’t know how to deal with, of course, she did not want such a misfortune in her continued, but now seems I gave her some negative implications. She knew I was going to take action.
Old man under the moon every year busy between men and women in the matchmaking, but it happens every year a lot of men and women snapped the red line to fly their. This is most cannot thing in the world. No matter who you are, do not want the tragedy of chain sets and was caught in a snare my children, but most of the time, parents of an unhappy marriage, the child is difficult to grasp the marriage. Even if there is no divorce of parents, if every day living in the smoke of war, the same will let the children do not have a sense of peace, sensitive girl in particular. Therefore, education is important, but the family atmosphere is more important. As parents, we must create a warm environment for the children.
In the hearts of the children, home is warm, peace of the central, there is a father and mother of the central, can play at home, relax, learn, grow. So, how to create a good family atmosphere?
First, to establish a harmonious relationship between husband and wife
The love between husband and wife can bring the child to bring psychological peace, the child from here to understand what is love, what is concerned, but also from here to learn how to get along with people. If there is no harmonious relationship, it is difficult to say what a warm family environment. To let her daughter grow up in Ankang happy, parents are the first to get along with the primary condition. Parents should pay attention to the following points:
1 communication between husband and wife.
2 time to set aside a couple.
3 enjoy the fun of playing with the kids.
Second, create a warm family topic
We often in family ethical play see people who sit around chatting together, happy, little with kind of slapstick, comfortable feel, the interpretation of the true meaning of “home”. Able to say, often create a warm atmosphere for all family members to participate in the topic can also create.
Third, the couple shared rearing responsibilities
Husband and wife should bear common rearing obligation. Even husband and wife divorce, but also to assume a shared obligation of female education, at least in the understanding of the girl to save traces of a “home” to her. If you can get a double love of parents, then divorce on children’s injury will be much smaller.
Flowers need pure soil, children need warm family. The girl grew up in the family harmony will have an indifferent to Enron’s temperament, to the world and life have a very positive understanding, can actively to weave my interpersonal relationship network, and can live happily in the. As parents, it is an obligation to create a warm family environment for children.
Parenting experts give suggestions
Breeze and rain storms have different effects on seedlings, the former to seedling growth of nutrients and is likely to be ruined seedlings of life. Create a warm family atmosphere, the first to dispose of the relationship between the couple, which is the premise of all education. For girls, parents’ love is she grows the best nourishment, even on the side to watch the love between parents, a child is a positive education, because it can help us to describe her a beautiful feeling in the world.
Seven effective methods of family education
One, in family education, the most common way is to talk. The quality of conversation is closely related to the art of conversation.
Talk, is in a democratic and harmonious atmosphere, between parents and children who talk. The time to talk should be appropriate, the topic of conversation should be useful, the child is interested. Talk before, parents should induce children free to the truth to pour out. Then the himself above the child insights as a gift rebate to the child. Through the exchange of ideas between parents and children, so that children receive education and enlightenment. The parents say, children learn to listen, no feedback, is not a genuine exchange. As for parents by talking to the child of sarcastic rebuke, seize a trivial chatter endlessly, offensive to children boring is not desirable.
The art of conversation is mainly reflected in the application of the method of capturing and talking in the time of conversation. In general, both parents and children in a bad mood, especially in a fit of anger, don’t talk; in the story are still not clear, don’t talk; an outsider, especially in the presence of the guests, please do not do critical conversation; at the dinner table, in children before sleeping, also should not be critical of the conversation. The characteristics of family education is “meet a thing is instruct”, so educational opportunity to grasp nimbly, all from the need of education, especially education effect of, the child can be accepted as the norm. Talk there can be a variety of ways, such as casual, investigative, incentive, serious criticism and education etc. can be used. The gossipy, informal time, place, content, a brighter future, relaxed and happy to talk, children are often welcome way of talking.
A successful conversation, like children will be salutary influence of education, educational.
Two, the art of the activities with the children
Family atmosphere is one of the important factors in the implementation of family education, with the children in the activities, is one of the effective ways to create a good family atmosphere.
In life, parents and children are a lot of opportunities to work together.
Go out with the kids. Is the beauty of nature: flowers in spring, the summer cicadas, autumn leaves, winter snow, the child will have endless appeal. Parents pinched season with children on an outing, proportionally to the natural scenery will give children a better reverie and vision, called home long for fun in childhood memories. Common state of mind and language, so that the distance between old and young, all of a sudden disappear, how much of the content of education can be in the present moment.
Go sightseeing with the kids. If you can bring children to the field trip, the children are the most happy. Those places of interest and various exhibitions are worth a visit. Visit, if the parents can do brilliantly explanation, children are the most admired; such as lack of knowledge, forcing parents to turn the pages to find information, it can win the child’s heart.
Shopping with children in Shangjie. Small children like to parents shop, way points people love thing, parents can took the opportunity to introduce a product knowledge and instill a sense of thrifty. Children grow up a little, can be home, for their own shopping, parents accompany when the staff, while buying and talking, while watching the side, while walking along the two generations of mutual security, is a good opportunity for education.
Play with children. After dinner, holidays, a family the development of expertise, blowing, play, sing, chatting, let the family is full of happy atmosphere, and enhance the cohesion of the family and life taste.
Parents and children work together a lot of content and activities is to eliminate the generation gap, harmonious feelings, entertaining activities, let family education in joy, cordial, free activities in.
Three, praise, reward Art
Praise and reward for children is also very learning.
Praise and reward children, you can encourage children to repeat good habits formed; in recognition and reward can stimulate the child’s progress, is conducive to the cultivation of children’s self-esteem and honor, to cultivate children’s ability to self constraint, but also enhance the child’s feeling of non sense, to help parents and children’s emotional deepening.
Election of the children to fulfill the requirements of parents, hope can give praise, reward; children have good behavior, although only signs, but also can give praise, reward; children completed a difficult task, the performance of the brave quality or a certain amount of perseverance, parents praise and reward; the children get the glorious Title, parents should praise and reward.
Praise, reward the way a lot of children should be based on the spirit of the main. For example: praise, praise, nod, smile, intimacy, to achieve the purpose of encouraging the child to progress. Material rewards also want to have, for young children, the necessary material reward is also a good education means. Can give books and clothes and toys, school supplies, etc., but careful with money, but can not let the children of small age, pure heart premature dye copper odor.
Parents want to hold the opportunity to praise and reward. Children excited, come quickly, go quickly, parents have to grasp the child’s psychological pulse, the praise, the reward should be timely, so that their performance can be enhanced, to consolidate. If a belated effort would weaken the incentive effect.
Again, praise or reward or, to be realistic, because this is a child of a kind of evaluation, to let the children in recognition and reward to recognize themselves. Too high, easy to let the child blindly meet; too low, and not easy to achieve the purpose of incentive. In addition, praise, reward, the attitude of parents should be sincere, it is best not to promise in advance, once promised to keep your word; not to the extent of the degree of reward and children bargain.
In recent years, some scholars “to” appreciation education “is called the” universal education “, and said:” to appreciate the child, can be fabricated. ” This argument is open to question, it is not scientific to use a method of education to replace all the means of education.
Four, the art of apologizing to the child
In family life, parents say the wrong thing, do something wrong, even wronged the child is often occur, how to deal with such a problem, also be really tutor of art.
Parents and children in the family should be democratic and equal relationship, parents do something wrong or wronged children, should take the initiative to apologize. This will not affect the credibility of the parents, but will not undermine the dignity of parents; instead, will give the child a mistake to change the example, will make the child sincerely admire their parents’ quality and self-cultivation, and thus more trust their parents, parents will not only reduce the dignity, but will be higher, but also to create a relaxed family, harmonious and democratic atmosphere conducive to the growth of children.
, of course, apologize to the parents, to admit their mistakes, especially to the child to apologize, admit and attitude must be sincere, not perfunctory, not looking for objective reasons, sincerely to seek understanding.
Five, tolerance of Art
Tolerance refers to the children do wrong after, parents with a spacious mind accept the child’s fault, they did not radical language rap, accountability has not pursued, this will make the child’s heart by deep remorse, and remorse, guilt of his past into, calm thinking, promote the in parents’ generosity to repent.
Give two examples to illustrate:
When Lenin was 8 years old, she went to her aunt’s house with her mother. He accidentally broke a vase, nobody saw, to investigate the cause of the problem when he didn’t admit fear. Lenin naughty is playing in the careful aunt guessed, but she remained silent, waiting for his son and the people in the germination of shame. After three months, the mother lovingly stroked the sons head, want to have words, unexpectedly Lenin burst into tears told the vase. Mother comfort her son, and tolerance of him. The mother knows that the son is in the moral struggle of the heart, the beauty of the quality of the United States, the quality of the victory.
India Sancho Gandhi, a teenager into a bad habit of smoking, and to steal money to buy cigarettes. He felt pain and remorse, the deterioration process in detail to write in a notebook, and plucked up the courage to hand it to the father, eager to get his father’s teachings and punishment. The father did not blame him, but for a long time staring at Gandhi, two lines of tears rolling down. The father of tolerance so that Gandhi has been a great shock, since then, Gandhi repent thoroughly of one’s misdeeds on the right path.
Obviously, tolerance is a very good education means. Application, it is recommended to pay attention to the following points:
The premise of the implementation of tolerance education, must be a child of their own mistakes have been recognized, and feel guilty, and the use of tolerance can be used.
Parents are ready to forgive the child’s fault, it should be from the expression, tone, tone of the child’s parents are very sad to make mistakes, and believe that they can repent. Such as the mother of Lenin, Lenin, Gandhi’s father’s tears, they are excellent education. Parents are not desirable indifferent attitude, make children feel a sense of relief, no pressure, lack of correct determination.
Tolerance, is in order to let the children form a good habit and moral character, and this habit and moral character only in practice can produce and consolidate. The parents do not because the child a thing did not do a good job, don’t let the children hands-on involvement in the, to allow the child to do things, but also to the child a tolerance.
Tolerance, not equal to laissez faire, abdicated. Tolerance is a positive education, the journey is the performance of the parents of dereliction of duty.
Six, criticism of Art
Criticism is a common means in family education, parents criticized the child to the child bad thoughts, behavior, quality give negative evaluation, and give warning, causing their guilt, pain and regret, from the shortcomings and mistakes in lessons, don’t repeat them.
To be fair and reasonable. There is a bit of a mistake, it is not wrong to criticize the child; the criticism is wrong today, but also with the previous mistakes, a point of the wrong, always when the very wrong to criticize, these estimates are not appropriate. Inspirational www.lz13.cn so parents meet the child’s shortcomings, to understand the plot, ascertain the reason, proper estimation of degree of error, not under unclear circumstances, on the child unwarranted accusations, arbitrary superclass, scapegoating, disorderly hazard analysis. If so, not only to achieve the purpose of education, it will cause the child’s reverse psychology, is not conducive to solving the problem.
In the way of criticism should be the first to the right, and then the wrong; the first recognition of the past, and then pointed out today; and even the first self criticism, and then criticize the child. Criticize the child can be serious, even can be tough, but it is not rude, it does not mean sarcasm, ridicule. Otherwise it will hurt the child’s self-esteem, is bound to cause the emotional opposition.
We often say “number ten, not as long as the award.” In the education of children, in order to positive incentives, but not to deny the criticism of the mistakes, shortcomings and mistakes, and even punish. Criticism can be used, but not too much, too much abuse, not to criticize as parents of education means. In addition, criticism, punishment is a negative, a kind of pressure, but also can become an incentive, a power. As parents, we must face the problem of the child, trying to control their own emotional impulse, and enhance the awareness of education, pay attention to the art of criticism.
Seven, set an example of Art
We often say that the power of example is infinite. Family education in the words and deeds, so that the content of education, personality, so that the child is infected with the image of education, and enhance the attractiveness and effectiveness of education, encourage children to imitate, learn noble moral behavior, self correcting their bad behavior.
The younger the child’s age, the greater the infection of the model. As a child by example, the impression will be very deep, and even will be unforgettable.
Parents are children’s most important learning model. Parents are the child of a person of exemplary virtue, the words and deeds of their parents is the most intuitive teaching materials for children to learn, parents set a good example of the demonstration can not only enhance reasoning credibility and infectious, but also like a spring moisten things to play the same monasteries, a subtle role. Therefore, parents should always behave yourself, with your good behavior first, make a model for the children’s moral cultivation.
Of course, in the family education, the role of the model is not spontaneous, parents need to give guidance. How should parents choose for their children and set an example for their children? By telling stories, watching television, reading and other ways to promote and establish a revolutionary leader, hero model, the history of the outstanding characters and literary works of the positive image of the positive impact of education, children, so that they become a model for the child. Because in their body to gather the Chinese nation’s outstanding moral character, should become the child learn to be a person’s criterion. To make the child from the deep education, parents must first of all these characters have a profound understanding of the state of mind, there is a deep feeling to influence, influence, guide children.
Parents should also pay attention to the children in the same age, the students in the class, for the children to find a learning model, which can increase the sense of learning. These people are children of the same age partners, a comparison of similar life experiences, companion has shown good thoughts, good moral character, good style, children are more familiar with, easy to understand, accept, more can inspire the vigor of learning. But parents remember, can not be designed to pick up the advantages of students, strengths and weaknesses of their children, compared to the opportunity to take the opportunity to irony, ridicule child. If parents often say: “you look at the children, you look at you, you make me sad!” This way of education can only play a negative role, so that children have a negative. The right approach is to seize the opportunity, inspired by self – learning, enhance self-confidence, willing to learn.
Parents want to see the child with appreciation
Child voice: don’t take me and others than
“I don’t know what I’m thinking, and I don’t know what I want? It seems as long as I can remember, my mom and dad would continue to take others and I, especially in every meeting after the parents. If they think other people are good, let them be their son. Besides I’m not trying to learn well, I also work hard, but why I can not see the results they can not see it? I don’t even want to stay at home anymore. I hate anyone. Why don’t they know me……” This is about a high school sophomore students in the boats and a chat.
The author from the youth psychological counseling center, at present, the mental health problems of young people is increasing, which is the majority of high school students, accounting for 70% of the total, the main symptoms of anxiety, depression, neurasthenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.. Analysts believe that caused the main reason for the increase in adolescents with mental health problems at present is study pressure, bad social influence big psychological intervene less.
Parents worried: others do, how can you not?
The mother of a son of the little learning is particularly excited, “our parents for what? Want to eat reluctant to wear, but he would not give us. You see, my old sister were children, a year younger than himself, learning had never let parents worry! I cross the vertical look, our children are not worse than others ah? Others do, why not?”
The author in the interview learned that except in the learning of children strict requirements, the parents of the life boats really count is meticulous the, and the difficulties of never wronged son. However, the boats and the parents but also how do not close up.
Dumbo’s father to the author said: “sometimes I know the child is too much pressure, but no way, we can’t take care of him for a lifetime do not you say? Now he didn’t work hard to find a good job, so we kick him?” And then he took a piece of paper from the drawer, “this is my pick up the room from the ground, you have a look, have written what?” I see, this page is like a diary of the off-line fall down, it said”…… There is one thing, I do not understand, I in the end is progress or regress. This month, I was in class 12, grade 68, into the top 100, in general, I should be progress. Because of the end of school, I am in the class of the place is 25, the grade is 152. However, this afternoon, I went back home, and did not get my father’s encouragement, but was he severely trained a meal: ‘I’m like you so big, want to go to school is not conditional! Can we create such a good condition for you, you are so to return us? You see x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x You really let us down… Come again, come again…… Also, I now have no contact with anyone, I and many people have finished (including * *), and did not learn bad people. I think this is probably the reason why I progress……”
“In fact, to see these words, I feel bad, but we can not think of what better education method. I didn’t take the great men to come with him, because it was too unrealistic. I just and his side of the people, and we are the same as the ordinary people to compare, we are a healthy person, if he can not, then I think that is not enough for his efforts!” Dumbo father says to the author.
Expert advice: learn to appreciate the child
Experts pointed out that in the influence of child mental health factors, family environment and parental education is the most important. Parents always give their children a good example, the family education way is quite common, but this is a kind of blind mentality. This education method, easy to make the child a sense of frustration, is not conducive to the cultivation of children’s self-confidence. First, for example the child parents from the heart is not convinced, would not accept. Second, will make the child will never be able to feel, because the new model will appear in front of. If you have unrealistic expectations of children, parents can not reach the requirements, parents will be the child of the negative, and then develop the child’s self denial. So, the child in the development of the difficulties will be in panic, retreat, the child’s psychological damage.
Experts also mention such a strange phenomenon. Dozens of Chinese and foreign children together for a test, the score after the test to take home to their parents to see the results of their parents, the results of the Chinese parents see the child’s score, 80% said they were not satisfied, and foreign parents have 80% expressed satisfaction. In fact, foreign children’s achievements are not as good as the Chinese children, this matter shows that China’s parents are accustomed to looking at the child with a critical perspective, look at others and the world. While foreign parents are used to appreciate the view of their own, children and the world. So, it is suggested that parents appreciate the vision to look at the child, to find the child’s strengths, sincere appreciation for him.
Children: as long as I can remember, my mom and dad will continue to get others and I than, especially in every time after after the parents, I is me, do not take me with others than.
Parents: we do parents want to eat reluctant to wear, but he would not give us good, others for him, why not?
Experts: parents are advised to look at the appreciation of children, to find the child’s strengths, sincere appreciation for him.